At Butterfield Trail Village, a monthly caregiver support group provides emotional relief, practical wisdom and lasting connections for those who give so much of themselves.
Every caregiver’s journey is different, but for those who join a caregiver support group, the walk is not taken alone. Looking after a spouse with declining health can take an enormous emotional and physical toll – as well as feel very isolating. At Butterfield, a monthly caregiver support group facilitated by staff social workers Patricia Poertner and Heather Edge offers much more than advice; it provides a space for relief, honesty and healing.
“They come to realize they’re not alone,” Patricia says. “Even though everyone’s situation is different, the feelings are often the same, and that shared understanding is powerful.” The group blends laughter, tears and practical wisdom, all under an umbrella of empathy and trust. For resident Sandy White, the support group is a lifeline: “I find solace in realizing I’m not making this journey alone, and experience comfort by sharing experiences with others facing many of the same challenges. Patricia and Heather offer us many helpful tips to relieve stress and take care of ourselves, as well as our spouses.”
The Heart of the Group
Whether navigating the early stages of a partner’s diagnosis or facing the challenges of long-term care, caregivers often feel emotionally depleted. That’s where the support group steps in, creating space for participants to share their personal experiences without fear of judgment. “We want caregivers to have a safe place to let it all out,” Heather says.
“To cry, to laugh, to be perfectly, bluntly honest about how hard it can be – without worrying that others might be offended or just not understand.”
Some members come mostly to listen, while others open up about the day-to-day trials they face. The beauty of the group is that it’s driven by those who attend. “We just facilitate,” says Patricia. “The caregivers lead the way.”
Wisdom Shared
Each meeting is a treasure trove of practical tips. From sharing routines that help keep a loved one calm or occupied to clever ways of creating meaningful engagement at home, participants walk away with ideas they can try. “Everyone needs purpose,” Patricia explains. “Even someone with dementia can fold laundry or check the mail. It gives them dignity and helps the caregiver, too.”
Members also learn how to adapt traditions, especially around holidays and while traveling. The group reassures each other that it’s okay to make tough calls – to cancel plans, ask for help and actively prioritize what’s best for everyone involved.
Caring for the Caregivers
One of the group’s strongest messages: Caregivers need care, too. “If you’re not filling your own cup, you won’t have anything left to give,” says Heather. Whether it’s setting aside quiet time or simply taking a walk, self-care looks different for everyone – and it matters.
The support group provides not only encouragement but also permission. “There’s a lot of guilt in caregiving,” Patricia says. “But hearing from someone who’s been through it helps. They can say, ‘It’s okay. You’re doing the best thing for your loved one.'”
A Culture of Compassion
The caregiver support group isn’t new to Butterfield – it’s part of the Village’s long-standing culture of care. Because members live in the same community, connections form more easily, and proximity means support naturally extends beyond the meetings. “They form friendships,” Patricia says. “They check in on each other, they share resources, and they remind each other that there is life beyond caregiving.”
For Sandy White, the group is just one example of the many ways she believes Butterfield helps sustain her. “I feel the support of so many outstanding professionals on a daily basis. The caregivers group offers me yet another wonderful resource to feel connection and support with this special community,” she says. “I’m very grateful to be living here.”
Finding Strength Together
The journey of caregiving can feel overwhelming, but it becomes a little lighter when it’s shared. “You can just come and listen,” Heather says. “You don’t have to talk. You don’t even have to keep coming. But we hope you will.”
Once a person experiences the power of being understood, supported and embraced by others who have traveled a similar path, it’s easier to realize there are friends who are ready and willing to take that walk together.
The Butterfield Caregiver Support Group meets on the fourth Wednesday of each month at 3pm in the Villa Room.
For more information, please contact Patricia Poertner, Senior Director of Resident Services, at (479) 695-8032 or at ppoertner@btvillage.org.
